Bradezone

In the mid-80’s a cartoon series was broadcast that shaped a generation of dudes who needed the occasional break from people to watch a bunch of big honkin’ robots fight each other and transform into cool crap in the process. I am one such dude from that generation, and the cartoon I speak of is none other than The Transformers. Many years later a live action flick is now on the way, and as a lifelong fan of Autobots and even some Decepticons, my opinion on the matter is needed.

Wired magazine’s newest issue features an article about the new movie and its director, Michael Bay, who has put out various unimpressive tripe over the years. In response to the article, I wrote the following letter:

I suspect that the final question posed in your Michael Bay article best captures what Transformers fans such as myself are wondering: will we even recognize Optimus Prime (or anyone else) when we see him in Bay’s live action experiment gone awry? I have tried to remain open-minded about the new movie, hoping that it will deliver something for me to get excited about, but it’s starting to look like Megan Fox might be the only surefire reason to check it out. I don’t demand much from the story. I just want the characters I grew up with to look like themselves. Bay’s supreme arrogance and disregard for fans’ memories came through strongly in your article, and that type of attitude could spell disaster for the film, which really only needed to portray the original character designs faithfully to ensure success. These new bots look no better than those cheap knockoffs that used to be foisted upon us by Family Dollar and the like. Even as a kid, I knew they weren’t good enough. Why should things be any different now?

That sums up my feelings at present. I will watch the movie, and I will try to latch on to the entertaining aspects of it, as some are apparently able to do. But I have little doubt that it will fail mightily to live up to the 1986 animated movie that my fellow Transformers fans and I remember so fondly.

Before I set out on the inaugural Chuck Norris Memorial Hike (as it has randomly been named) in California along with four others for the next 10 days, I’m just gonna post some crap.

First, shout out to my peeps for an entertaining Memorial Day. Much grub was grubbed, much drink was drunk, and much entertainment was provided by Kammer’s outfit The Redemption of Sans Foy. Thanks to them I now know the feeling of experiencing a concert from a living room couch, and they brought their A-game. Subsequent prolonged conversation about life, religion, music, sex, and film with fellow Christians who “get it” was heartily welcomed and enjoyed.

I’ve watched several quality films recently, including The Foutain, Dreamgirls, and Babel. Perhaps we can discuss the first of those in more detail later. For now I merely want to offer that while Jennifer Hudson was quite deserving of her Oscar for an incredible portrayal of Effie White in Dreamgirls, for my money I was utterly blown away by the amazing work of Rinko Kikuchi as Chieko in Babel. My heart was wrenched for her character, and still now I am in awe of how the actress handled the difficulties of her role—not only was Chieko deaf and mute and thus forced to convey her feelings solely through body language and a few written notes, but her desperate desire to be accepted as a beautiful woman and not regarded for her disabilities required several nude scenes, all of which I believe advanced the character and made me feel great pity towards her. Her performance left me with much to think about, as any outstanding acting performance should. Later I read an interview with Rinko and was truly struck with how intelligent and insightful she seems to be. I certainly hope she gains even greater notoriety through whatever future performances she has in store.

So the aforementioned hiking excursion in Cali begins in just over a day, and I am ready for it. This will be my first time west of Missouri, not counting my birth date in Texas (we moved when I was still 0 years old) or my time in Alaska when I was but a lad of age 2. We will be hiking through Yosemite and Sequoia parks, checking out Monterrey Bay and Big Sur, and hitting Napa Valley and San Fransisco for good measure. I anticipate hijinks and hilarity, great views and great fun, and that something unexpected yet enriching will probably occur. Pictures to come, I’m sure, but for now I bid you adieu.

Is the world ready for the unparalleled ferocity of Battles? Their breakthrough track Atlas will most assuredly perpetrate an incredible crisis on your mind and the music industry as a whole.